


One Cannot Conquer What One Does Not Confront

by LapsedPacifist



Series: This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us [2]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Constipation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, Roommates, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-16 02:46:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LapsedPacifist/pseuds/LapsedPacifist
Summary: Running away from his father’s revenge to a foreign country with his worst enemy… What kind of messed up fairytale shit was this?And now he had to live with the guy.Somebody was very clearly going to die and Karma didn't care who, because no Hell could actually compare to the suffering™ he was currently going through.





	One Cannot Conquer What One Does Not Confront

**Author's Note:**

> these two dorks are awful i love them so much

Unsurprisingly, there was no second bed for Karma to sleep on. Whether that was because there had simply not been time to procure one or Asano had just wanted to put him into his place by having him sleep on the floor was irrelevant. Frankly, the true miracle was not so much that Asano did not reside in the dorms and instead had his own apartment (because of course he did, the _princess)_ , but that he was prepared to share it with Karma - without demanding something truly _outrageous_ in return.

Karma himself still wasn’t completely sure why he had agreed to that insane proposal back in Japan. Not that he had anything left to lose, at that point.

And wasn’t that a sad thought.

He gently kicked the supposedly tastefuly navy blue sofa in front of him that was way too short for his long legs. Asano was even taller than him, so why did he even have that sorry excuse for a piece of furniture?

Not that anything much bigger would fit in the room. The apartment was _tiny!_ There was a small bathroom with a shower and an even smaller kitchen that had a bit bigger table set in the middle, probably serving as Asano’s work desk as his laptop rested on it, next to a big pile of books. Then there was Asano’s bedroom, wardrobes lining one of the walls, the other one offering a breath of fresh air on the small balcony. The remaining room wasn’t so much a room as more of an expanded hallway between the bedroom and the kitchen - with no doors, of course - and the offending sofa was stuck next to one wall, while a pile of precariously stacked cardboard boxes stood next to the other one.

It was small, and to Karma straight after High School it would have seemed positively cramped and claustrophobic. But after the last year he now relished in the cleanliness and the space it offered to him. Even the too small sofa was a blessing for his by now pretty fucked up back.

Of course he didn’t tell Asano that - the annoyance already had enough power over him and Karma wasn’t about to give him even more.

So instead, he chose to voice his complaints.

“I can’t believe you don’t live in a mansion,” he said.

“I do not need a mansion,” Asano replied, all agitated. He was currently in his bedroom, sorting out his clothes. He didn’t spare Karma, who was sulking on the sofa, even a glance.

“Do you at least have another blanket? Maybe even a pillow?” Karma wasn’t too optimistic about that. Besides, sleeping on the floor wouldn’t be anything new for him.

“I do not,” said Asano, not surprising anyone. “But we shall go shopping later today.”

“What for?” asked Karma. “I checked the fridge-”

“Stay away from my food!”

“-and you have enough of ‘healthy snacks’-” Karma said, leaning forward so that Asano could clearly see the air quotes he made around the words, “-for a week. Besides, you’re behind your study plan-”

“Stay away from my computer!” again interjected Asano, now looking even more ticked off.

“-so shouldn’t you stay in and study?” finished Karma, who was only amused by Asano’s reaction. How easy was to rile up that guy.

Asano took a deep breath, clearly trying not to explode. “The fact that I’m behind my schedule is purely your fault, so shut up! Just let me finish unpacking and then we are going shopping. You need clothes and somewhere to sleep. Maybe even a computer.”

“You do realize I have literally no money,” said Karma.

“I don’t have memory problems - unlike you - so I do remember that particular detail,” told him Asano, his eyes back on the clothes. “I will pay for now, and you can return the money later.”

“And there I thought you were just a broke college student. Seriously, what’s with the tiny-ass apartment?”

“A small apartment is better than no apartment,” pointedly told him Asano. Karma merely rolled his eyes. If Asano was trying to strike where it hurt, then he would have to try harder. Much, much harder.

“Besides,” Asano relented, now folding the last of his shirts, “I only sleep and eat here, and of course, use it as a storage. You don’t need a big place for that. It’s close to the campus, so that’s great, and it’s easy to clean.”

“Right,” said Karma. “I forgot how much you hate people touching your stuff.” And he pointedly reached for the stack of books that was placed next to the sofa, picking the first one up.

“Wait, this isn’t…”

But before he could finish the sentence, Asano was right in front of him, snatching the book out of his hands.

“Don’t touch my stuff, Akabane,” he hissed.

He was glaring hard, his expression positively murderous. The look would have cowed anyone - save for Karma.

Karma merely smiled and pursed his lips: “Oh man, I had no idea you ever did anything for fun! I thought it was studying 24/7 for you, but now I find you are a closeted sci-fi fan? This is the best!”

He tried to reach the book in Asano was now protectively holding, but Asano slapped his hands away.

“Don’t touch me,” Asano growled, “and leave my books alone.”

“So annoying,” commented Karma. And then: “Absolutely no change.”

Asano merely sighed and put the book down. Then he turned and walked through the kitchen to the front door, the entrance. He didn’t even check whether Karma was following him. “I’m going out,” he said. “You either come with me or sulk in front of the doors, I’m not leaving you alone in my apartment.”

Karma rolled his eyes: “Distrustful much?”

“The day my only choice is to trust you is the day I am either committed to an asylum or commit suicide,” told him Asano. “Now shut up.”

* * *

 

Karma had often been asked whether he was crazy. He usually responded with a smirk or even an affirmation, whichever made people run away faster.

He didn’t consider himself particularly crazy, though. He only… employed an unconventional way of thinking sometimes. Yes, that was it.

But right now, even he was starting to think that there might be some truth in all that talk about his messed up head.

“Friends?” he asked, yet again, checking if he had heard correctly.

“Yes,” Asano grumbled. “Friends. I know that that seems like a foreign concept to you, but I actually do have some.”

Asano had friends? And not just some asskissers that hung around him because of his dad, but proper, bona fide human friends?

Asano _did._ Three of them, to be exact.

He discretely tried to check whether they were secretly androids, but no luck.

Simon, the engineering student, was the one with a car, which was also the sole reason these ‘friends’ were even here. Asano had point blank refused to use the subway to drag whatever Karma and he bought back to his apartment.

So Simon had come to the rescue with his tiny blue car.

But the thing he had forgot to mention was that he was bringing other people along.

“ _Holla!”_ There was an all too cheerful burly man with long hair, who Asano introduced as Trevor, and who was after a major in chemistry.

And there was also a blond girl with lively blue eyes that almost reminded him of Nakamura, but there was no playful expression on her face. She merely raised her hand and gave a little wave. Her name was Layla and she was focused on mathematics.

“I still can’t believe you have actual friends,” Karma told Asano again. Asano in retaliation punched him in the shoulder.

 _“Introduce yourself,”_ he told Karma in English.

Karma rolled his eyes and turned to the expectant trio.

 _“Hello, plebeians,”_ he started. Asano punched him again.

 _“Sorry,”_ Asano said, turning to the others, _“he doesn’t speak English very well. He’s confusing his words.”_

 _“Oh am I,”_ said Karma. Asano glared at him, so Karma stuck out his tongue.

Trevor and Simon exchanged surprised looks.

 _“Oh!”_ said Simon, _“Is your name Karma by any chance?”_

Karma immediately turned towards him: _“How did you know?”_

_“Gakushuu sometimes talks about you. Mostly when he’s drunk.”_

_“_ Especially _when he’s drunk,”_ added Trevor. They were both smiling, and even Layla’s eyes were sparkling. This was definitely worth inspecting further.

 _“Oh?”_ Karma said, now very interested in the conversation. He turned towards Asano, whose face was slowly turning from the colour of his own hair to that of Karma’s.

 _“Drunk? Aren’t you too young for that, here? Wait, did you do something_ illegal? _Oh man, what crazy things am I hearing today!”_ Karma was overjoyed. Maybe these ‘friends’ were actually good for something.

Asano was not amused. _“Shut up! Please, stop talking! Just get in the car!”_

But Karma wanted to know more: _“So? What did he say about me?”_

 _“If anyone says_ anything, _I can promise that you will suffer!”_ yelled Asano.

Trevor and Simon looked at each other again, and Karma could see they were more than ready to ignore Asano’s screams of terror, but then Layla stepped forward.

 _“Leave it, guys, and get in the car. We ain’t gonna stand round here the whole day,”_ she said.

Karma immediately gave her his best pout, but she ignored it. “That’s just cruel,” he sighed. Asano ignored him as well.

This was going to be a long year.

* * *

 

Outside of occasional trips to the store that they made together, Karma didn’t see Asano’s friends often. He knew that they met up twice a month to get mildly drunk and complain about school, but he was never invited along, as Asano proclaimed he needed the time without Karma to survive and also to not go insane.

Not that they saw much of each other anyways. Asano spent most of his time at the school campus, attending classes and studying. He only really came back to the apartment to shower and sleep. Karma had his hands full, with one full time job as a cashier, and a half time one as an IT specialist, where he pretended he knew what he was doing with computers. In comparison to old people that required his services, he actually knew a lot.

The minimum wage in Massachusetts was bigger than the one back in Japan. Asano also hadn’t demanded that Karma paid for living with him, but Karma had decided to do that anyways. He also still had to return about 300$ that Asano spent on his new clothes, bed sheets and a laptop.

There was much to do, and he was constantly tired. But he was also a lot… Happier. Not exactly overjoyed, but a lot more content with his situation than a month before. It didn’t seem as hopeless, as grim and dark as before. There was now a glimmer of hope, of freedom and escape he so longed for.

He greatly appreciated this, even though he still didn’t entirely understand Asano’s reasons.

He probably never would. But it was fine. As soon as he got enough money, he was going to pay everybody back and disappear from their lives. That was what everyone that had ever met really wanted, wasn’t it.

* * *

 

Usually Asano and he exchanged only essential information, wrapped into insults and topped with swears. They didn’t physically fight, even though they came pretty close almost every time they were in the same space for more than an hour.

And yet, despite almost a month having passed, Karma still had no idea what Asano was getting out of this.

Was it sadistic pleasure, seeing his opponent working such menial jobs and slowly getting worn down? Or was it pity, for an enemy long beaten and left it the dust? Or, and this was Karma’s favourite pet theory, Asano was secretly a masochistic fuck who was getting his rocks off by having Karma here constantly yell and insult him

On days like these, when he wasn’t too tired to stand, his brain liked to work overtime. And now, here, when he had no schoolwork to occupy him, it was even worse.

He let himself into the apartment without any loud greetings. Asano normally wasn’t at the apartment when Karma arrived, and even if he was, he wasn’t overly fond of Karma being loud. True, Karma didn’t often listen to what Asano had to say, but that was before he became so depended on Asano.

He heard the shower running and felt surprised for a moment. He thought Asano had an engagement right now, but apparently he had been mistaken. He set down his bag, took off his shoes and made his way towards the kitchen. There indeed was a lit up computer on the table, work papers scattered around it.

A smile worked its way onto his face. This was exactly what he had hoped for. Sitting down he leafed through one of the books that were strewn around. Then he noticed the computer screen. There was a mathe- no, wait. A physics problem? Not anything he had done before, in his first (and only) year of college, but it still felt familiar. He looked around the desk until he spotted the appropriate book. This was gonna be fun.

* * *

It was so fun and difficult he didn’t even notice the shower turning off, the long silence that followed and the subsequent shuffling of bare feet on the wooden floor.

Karma had already finished the problem he had originally started with, and was now simply reading through one of the books on the matters of universal law, when a hand slammed down on the desk, right next to where Karma’s elbow was planted.

“What are you doing?” hissed Asano. His hair was still a bit wet, partially obscuring his enraged face. He was wearing sweatpants, which meant he was preparing to go to bed. And he was towering over Karma, one of his hands planted on the desk and the other on the back of the chair Karma was sitting on. His red face was inches from Karma’s, staring right into his eyes. “I told you not to touch my stuff! Especially the books! If I find you drew dick pics everywhere, I will beat you until you bleed,” he threatened.

Karma rolled his eyes and tried not to stare at Asano’s bare chest (too much): “Please, who do I think I am?”

“That’s exactly why I’m asking, Akabane! Now, what did… you… do.”

As his eyes finally strayed to the sheet of paper Karma had in front of him and then to the computer, they widened in surprise. Asano stared at the piece of paper like it offended him and his whole family.

“Did you solve that?” he accusingly asked Karma.

Karma raised an eyebrow and said: “No, the ghost that lives here did.”

“Akabane.”

“Of course I did,” Karma huffed. “What, you think my brain just shriveled up and died because I’m not in college anymore?”

Now Asano was the one that raised his eyebrows: “I never thought you had _any_ brains, for the record. But you do need college level knowledge to solve this.”

Karma simply gave him a smile, the one that made people call him the devil in the first place. “I noticed,” he said. “So, what’s up?”

 _“‘What’s up?’”_ incredulously repeated Asano.

“Yeah, you gonna let me up anytime soon or do you want to rub your body over me some more?” Karma asked, leering up at him.

Asano recoiled like he had been shocked with electricity. Raising both hands he moved backwards, but then remembered where he was.

“Shut up,” he hissed. “And get out.”

“What, you throwing me out just ‘cuz-”

“Of the chair, you moron! I need to finish this. And don’t bother me!”

* * *

“You can use these.”

It was early in the morning. Far too early, judging by the fact that Karma’s alarm had yet to go off. And yet, something was poking him in the head. Something very bony and annoying.

He tried to fend it off, but his weak strikes were intercepted and pushed aside with no problems.

He grunted and opened his eyes. Asano’s foot was directly in front of his face.

Karma almost yelled out loud, because his instincts tried to take over and make him bite the offending appendage as a defense, but that would be just… _No._ Instead, he scrambled back, hitting the wall with his elbows and the back of his head. It stung.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he growled. “Go to sleep. Leave me alone. You don’t even have class today.”

He tried to cover his head with the blanket and go back to sleep, but Asano’s foot was still in his face.

“Get up, you useless piece of shit,” said Asano. “I don’t have the whole day.”

“Not happening,” mumbled Karma.

“Alright then,” said Asano, and Karma immediately tried to turn around, because Asano never agreed with him so easily, which meant something was terribly wrong, but it was already too late. The something heavy - multiple ‘something heavy’-s landed on his head and shoulders, and he yelped in pain and anger.

“Asano!” he screamed, digging himself out of the mess, which he discovered were many books now laying on top of him. “I will kill you!”

But Asano had already turned around and left the small room, leaving Karma alone with the chaos.

“Wha…” Karma trailed off, uncertain. What had just happened?

* * *

“You’re bored.”

Simple as that.

“What?” asked Karma, almost dropping his spoon. It was late in the evening, two days after Asano’s totally unprovoked assault, a small bruise still visible on Karma’s face attesting to Asano’s cruelty. And yet, there had been no explanation forthcoming for the strange behaviour.

Until now.

“You’re bored,” repeated Asano. He was leaning on the door frame, with the only sign that he was tired being the undone tie around his neck. Otherwise, he looked as alert and aware as always - the complete opposite of Karma, whose eyelids were literally dropping closed after being on his legs for sixteen hours straight.

“Sometimes, yes,” Karma admitted. He wanted to go to sleep. He didn’t want to have a heart to whatever Asano had instead of a heart right now.

“I would say fairly often,” Asano commented. “And as much as it pains me to admit it, you and I aren’t all that different. I know how my mind works, ergo, I know how bored out of your mind you must be by now. And… I acknowledge I should’ve realised that sooner. I also do not even want to imagine what you could do to the apartment when sufficiently motivated. So therefore,” he said. “The books.”

“Mhm,” intelligently said Karma. “I got all that. Sure.” His head swayed, and he tried to prop it up with his hand, but he missed it and almost planted his head into his bowl.

“Drowning in cereal milk would be the most pathetic death imaginable,” told him Asano, who was suddenly standing behind him.

Just when did he…? Super speed?

“No, that would be getting killed by you,” Karma managed.

“Weak retort. Get your ass in the bed,” Asano snapped.

“But I don’t have a bed,” Karma complained.

“Take mine,” Asano offered. “I’m going out anyways.”

“Great,” mumbled Karma. “Tha’s great.”

“You’re slurring. Go to bed, for fuck’s sake.”

“Did Asano just curse at me?” wondered Karma. “I must be dreaming.”

“I hate you so much.”

* * *

“You know,” said Karma, oddly cheerful: “I had a feeling something like this was going to happen.”

“That’s amazing,” hissed Asano from the corner of his mouth. His uneasiness was clearly visible to Karma, who of course did nothing to alleviate it.

He simply went on: “And do you know why?”

They were surrounded in a dark alley, five men with knives and baseball bats in their hand standing around them, a scene straight out of a movie.

Karma liked it.

Asano, not so much. “Please don’t say what I think you’re about to say,” he said.

Karma couldn’t even enjoy the fact that Asano actually said _please_ for once, because one of the men, the one closest to him, had finally had enough.

 _“Quit it with the fucking Chinese and hand over the money!”_ he yelled.

 _“Well,”_ Karma said, _“I would, but I don’t actually speak Chinese. Neither does that loser there,”_ and he pointed at the seething Asano.

“If those guys don’t get you, then I will!” Asano yelled.

 _“Right, right,”_ said Karma and turned to the man in front of him again. _“As I was saying. This is not going to end well.”_

 _“That’s right,”_ the man agreed. _“Now give us the cash.”_

 _“I wasn’t done!”_ Karma protested. _“Do you know_ why _this is gonna go terribly?”_

 _“Shut up!”_ the man yelled, swinging his knife in front of Karma’s face, in an attempt to scare him.

But Karma merely smiled, unmoving, his hand slowly traveling towards his belt while he innocently tilted his head to the side: _“Because Karma’s a bitch, you know.”_

And with that he released the throwing knives in his hand, hitting two men standing the closest to Asano in their hands, prompting them to release their weaponry. That was hopefully enough for Asano to dispose of them properly, because Karma was immediately jumped by the remaining three, and needed to actually pay attention to get rid of them all.

“Amateurs,” he grumbled when the last one was finally lying on the floor. Asano joined him, quickly checking out the man-pile Karma had assembled.

“I called the police,” he notified Karma. “They should be here soon, but we have to wait for them. After that, we will get you to the hospital, and-”

“Hospital?” asked Karma. “Why would we go there? Did something happen?”

Asano only silently pointed at Karma’s left shoulder. Karma needed a second to comprehend that yes, that was in fact _his_ blood, and does that mean he got stabbed?

“Damn, I’m so sloppy,” he commented. “Also, no hospital.”

Asano looked extremely offended by that suggestion: “What!”

“No hospital,” repeated Karma. “What, you hard of hearing suddenly?”

“No, you’re just spouting nonsense. Akabane, this is a serious injury! You can’t just… _Not go,”_ Asano said, looking seriously disturbed.

But Karma simply shrugged, which, wow, maybe not the best idea with a busted shoulder, but still: “I can, it’s _my_ injury, isn’t it? I can fix this up myself, easily.”

“Oh, can you,” Asano said, sounding sceptical.

“Yes,” told him Karma. “Yes, I can.”

“With what equipment?”

“With that first-aid kit I bought like two weeks ago,” Karma said, and Asano’s eyes widened in shock.

“You knew this was going to happen!” Asano accused him.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Karma admitted. “And do you know why?”

“Don’t say it.”

“It’s because…”

“Don’t say it!”

“...Karma’s a bitch!”

“I am going to kill you.”

* * *

“I know why you didn’t want to go to the hospital,” later told him Asano. Karma had just finished stitching up his shoulder, which had hurt, and he wasn’t ready to deal with Asano’s shit right now. He really just wanted to get drunk and sleep this off, but it obviously wasn’t happening with the way Asano had snatched up the alluring bottle of spirits away from Karma.

“Great job figuring out something so complicated,” he lazily said, not even bothering to look up at Asano. “You don’t have to share your newly found wisdom with me, by the way.”

“It’s too expensive.”

“Everything here is,” bitterly agreed Karma. “Especially alcohol.”

“No, but their healthcare system is the one thing that’s truly awful,” said Asano. “It’s not so much a health _care_ system as a… Health _don’tcare_ system.”

Karma suddenly realised something. And it was a groundbreaking discovery. “You’re drunk.”

“No, I’m not,” said Asano. “I have a great alcohol tolerance. Besides, this contains almost no alcohol, it’s just…”

And he brought the bottle closer to his eyes while Karma shook his head in disappointment.

“Oh,” Asano said after a moment. “This isn’t like shōchū.”

“Dumbass,” told him Karma. “And there I thought you were some hardened drinker. How come you never had vodka before?”

“I prefer to stick to different wines. And brandy, if I had an awful week. Which reminds me! This week was awful. Actually, scratch that. Everything’s been very awful, ever since you arrived here.”

“Oh,” now said Karma. Why did he have to be sober right now.

“Yes!” Asano said, taking a step closer to Karma: “You turned my life upside down! And _not_ in a good way.”

“Alright, we’re putting this away,” Karma said and pulled the bottle from Asano’s grip.

Asano ignored that, completely focused on Karma in front of him: “I had such simple life before, and then you had to come and ruin everything! You have successfully inserted yourself in every part of my life now, and I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s not fair! What do I get out of this?”

Karma set the bottle down a bit harder than intended, resulting in a loud noise that he was all too grateful wasn’t loud breaking of glass. He clenched his fist. Damn, why was he sober?

“You now you can just throw me out, right,” he said, a short huff of breath escaping him. It was supposed to be laughter, but it could have also been heard as a sob. “This is… _You_ wanted this. I’m here because of you.”

Asano looked bewildered as he slowly repeated after Karma: “Throw you out? I can’t do that!”

“There’s no one around to judge you, Asano. Besides, you can simply tell your friends that I went home or something,” said Karma, all bitter.

“But I can’t!” insisted Asano. “You have no money and no friends here. What will you do? I can’t just throw you out, I brought you here! You’re my responsibility!”

“Well, I’m absolving you of any guilt that you might feel-”

“Shut up!” yelled Asano, slapping his hands against Karma’s chest and pushing him backwards. “Why can’t you simply fucking understand?! I _care_ for you, you bastard!”

Immediately after that confession Asano releed back in shock. “I… I…” he stammered out. He was pale, but instead of backing away as Karma thought he would, he persisted.

“Yeah,” he loudly proclaimed, “I care for you, alright? And it pisses me off to see you so, so broken and tired and _done._ You think that no one cares for you, that no one would give a damn whether you live or die… That’s not true! And it’s so awful, seeing how everything has fucked you over and how there’s nothing I can truly do to help you. Because, you fucking moron, I do care.”

Karma had no idea how to respond. The first person to offer him a helping hand, and it was someone that despised him? No, that wasn’t right. He furiously blinked his eyes, as he was most definitely not going to cry. No, no way. Not even because Asano was probably the first person in _years_ to tell Karma they gave a shit about him.

It just had to be Asano. That guy… He always destroyed all expectations Karma had about, well, _the entire human race_.

“You’ve already done more than enough,” Karma told him and it said something about his mental state that he didn’t even sneak in a joke about how much Asano was suddenly cursing.

“But it’s not enough!” yelled Asano. “It’s never enough… Such a failure... “ He slapped a hand across his face, and holy shit, was he _crying?_ Karma didn’t know how to deal with crying people. “I’m sorry,” Asano mumbled, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Karma figured it wasn’t him Asano was apologising to.

Then he did something crazy, something insane, something truly benefiting the ‘devil’ nickname he had been given, something he wouldn’t have done in a thousand years if this truly weren’t very special circumstances.

He took a step closer -

 

\- and hugged Asano.

* * *

“I hate you, I hate those filthy criminals, and I hate alcohol.”

Asano apparently remembered every single thing from last night and he was _pissed._

He seemed stuck between cursing everyone and everything in sight and completely ignoring Karma.

Karma, who took a day off because he couldn’t really move his left hand, was lunging on his (technically Asano’s, but Karma had basically adopted it at this point) sofa and watching Asano, half amused and half dreading the conversation they were sure to have.

Asano only had two classes today, and both were later in the afternoon, so there really was no escape, as Karma had nowhere to go. And he wasn’t going to just wander around the city with a busted shoulder that hurt like a bitch, because he had forgotten to buy painkillers _like a moron_ he was, so the entire idea was just… Crazy at that point _._

They could either talk about their problems or sulk like little kids. Knowing himself - and Asano, he had to admit that he knew Asano pretty well by now - they were both going to pick the second option.

That was probably for the best, in the end. Not speaking would guarantee that they wouldn’t fuck up their situation even more, as Karma wasn’t exactly sure how much Asano could take before he snapped and then either also snapped Karma’s neck or his own.

He was thrown out of his musings by an incoming call from his phone, which, what? Nobody _ever_ called him nowadays. The only person that had his new number was Asano, and that little prick was currently cutting up a tomato in the kitchen with all repressed anger he wasn’t able to release on Karma.

Karma accepted the call.

 _“Hello,”_ he said, with absolutely no introduction. They either knew who they were calling, or they had the wrong number. Either way, his name didn’t matter.

 _“Karma!”_ chirped the all too cheerful voice of Trevor, one of Asano’s _friends. “So good to hear from you! No, seriously! I heard what happened to you two! Are you okay? Apparently you’re a secret badass, is that true?”_

 _“Well,”_ started Karma and then remembered something: _“Hang on, how do you know that? Did Asano-”_

_“Nah, Gakushuu doesn’t tell us anything. Man, it’s so annoying! I have to find out everything much latter, second hand - even though I regularly hang with the source itself! Thank god that one of my friends works at the dispatch center and heard the call come in. Supposedly you two were a real sensation! A call about a robbery only to report the gang of perpetrators was already incapacitated? Doesn’t happen every day! So, are you prepared to share some juicy details with me?”_

Trevor sure talked a lot, Karma noticed. _“And what exactly do you want to know?”_ he asked. Hm. He could definitely get something out of this.

 _“Everything!”_ Trevor excitedly said.

 _“There’s not much to tell,”_ Karma shrugged. _“I mean, five guys jumped us and we knocked them down, that’s basically it.”_

 _“I know_ that _much,”_ grumbled Trevor. _“But how did you do that? You don’t just ‘dispose’ of five armed men like it’s no biggie. Do you also practice martial arts like Gakushuu?”_

Karma couldn’t help but notice, yet again, that Asano had allowed these people to call him by his first name. He didn’t understand why that bothered him so much.

 _“I guess so,”_ he said. _“I mean, Asano got rid of one half, and I finished the other. No special moves necessary, just good old fists.”_

 _“Right, right. Sure, only that happened. Hey, would you be willing to settle a small bet of ours? We just want to know something,”_ Trevor requested. _“Nothing big, just a small question.”_

_“Of course - if in exchange you tell me what things Asano has been telling you about me when he’s dru-”_

His phone was suddenly snatched from his hand, and he could feel a very annoyed presence standing above him.

Asano ended the call with a vicious stab of his thumb all the while staring directly at Karma. “Who gave you permission to talk to my friends?” he hissed.

Karma tilted his head: “I had no idea I needed permission to speak to people. What’s the next thing, not allowing me to go outside? You’re really getting into your role of an abusive boyfriend, leaving bruises on me and all.”

“That’s not a joke!” yelled Asano, slamming the phone down with all his might.

“And now yelling and destroying my personal means of communication? You really are the worst,” Karma said, still a picture of calmness despite the internal inferno in him. He couldn’t explode, not now. There was far too much at stake.

But Asano had no such qualms. He apparently did not give two shits about what neighbours might think about them as he continued to yell: “Enough! Shut your mouth! One more word from you and I swear I’ll-”

However, despite Karma’s internal decision to not go ballistic on Asano, he wasn’t just going to take that sitting down. “You’ll what?” he said, standing up and putting himself directly into Asano’s personal space. “You’ll what?” he repeated, his voice cold as it could get. “Hit me? Kill me? Throw me out? Come on, Asano, do your worst. I have heard it _all,_ I have even taken it all, when some tried to follow through. Do you really think you can do worse than them?”

Karma was staring directly into Asano’s eyes, which were almost sharper than his own. Their beautiful violet colour had often haunted Karma in dreams, be it nightmares or those of more… pleasurable nature. But no thinking about that now.

“I hold all the power over you right now, Akabane,” Asano squeezed through gritted teeth.

“I realize that, _A-sa-no,”_ mocked him Karma. “And yet, I’m still standing here, nose to nose with you, not backing down even a millimeter. What, you thought that just now was an effective threat? Because I’ve got news for you,” he said, leaning even closer, almost feeling Asano’s breath on his face. “You’ve got to try harder.”

But Asano neither leaned back nor pushed Karma away, like Karma expected him to do. He stared right back at Karma, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. He seemed at a loss, no reply forthcoming.

His eyes couldn’t seem to focus on just one part of Karma’s face, skipping all over it, like he was searching for something.

“Akabane…” he finally started, and Karma had to fight to keep his eyes away from Asano’s lips. They looked very soft, probably very enjoy-

No, don’t go there.

“Can’t get this through your thick skull, ha? _Nothing_ you say can break me, Asano. I’m your equal - no, I’m _better_ than you _.”_

Finally, the tension was broken.

Asano finally took a step back and snorted: “Please, Akabane, you’re not even the same _species_ as me. Don’t even think about comparing your intellect with mine.”

A very anticlimactic end, but an end nonetheless. And out of those multiple options Karma had considered, this was probably the best one for both of them.

* * *

It was later in the evening, after Asano had returned from his classes, after Karma had finished tapping his half broken phone back together and after both of them stopped sending each other death glares that they finally said a word to each other again.

“Akabane, I believe we have to talk,” Asano said. He was sitting behind his computer, eyes firmly on the screen and a pen in his hand. The only thing that betrayed his nervousness was the hand that was playing with his hair.

Karma was just next to the fridge, checking if they still had enough milk, because unlike Asano, he wasn’t lactose intolerant and actually drank the stuff. Asano’s voice came from nowhere, and he almost dropped the apple he had been sporadically chewing on.

He looked up, at Asano. “I guess we do,” he sighed, closing the fridge. But he made no motion to come closer. Asano didn’t look pissed off, not that it was that easy to tell when he bothered to hide it.

“I owe you… An explanation. For my previous behaviour,” Asano slowly started.

“Oh, Asano’s being forthcoming? What’s this?” Karma couldn’t help but mock him. The situation was unnerving him and that was his usual response in those kinds of circumstances.

Asano ignored him and went on: “The reason for my… explosion, so to say, was because of some, hm. How shall I put this? Some rather _unsavory_ comments that have been made recently.” His hand tangled with his hair again. Damn, this was really bothering him, wasn’t it?

“Unsavory comments? What, did somebody said you looked like a pervert? Cuz truth be told-”

“Not now, Akabane!” snapped Asano. “Just _listen_ for once!”

“You say that every time,” Karma rolled his eyes.

“Well, it’s very important _this_ time, imbecile. Anyway. The thing, what they have insinuated, what really pissed me off…”

Asano was definitely procrastinating.

“Just spit it out,” told him Karma.

“They thought that you were my boyfriend!”

It was safe to say that Karma did _not_ see that one coming.

 _Boyfriend?_ The idea didn’t repulse him as much as he would’ve thought it would - and that was the scary part. Was he… Did he actually _like_ Asano? He knew he definitely wanted to fuck the guy, because _damn._ But… A romantic relationship? Asano and Karma, together? They would probably blow something up in a week, and definitely wouldn’t last more than two.

Still, Karma had to be fair and admit he was actually considering it right now.

Asano, who apparently got over all the nervousness, continued to talk, oblivious to internal meltdown Karma was having. “And I know some of it was just teasing, because that’s what they _do_ and I cannot believe I like their company, but I am also almost certain that Simon was not joking when he called you that the first time! And it’s not just them, I know that some of our neighbours are saying the exact same things about us. I can’t believe they all think that I’m your…” he wrinkled his nose, showing just what he thought of the idea, and spat out the last word: _“boyfriend.”_

“What, you no big fan of baseless rumours?” chuckled Karma. He had no proper way to respond to this, not with the epiphany he had just had. Well, he was tremendously fucked - and not in a good way.

“Especially when they involve us, together. They are not only wrong, but completely ridiculous and stupid,” Asano murmured, now much more subdued than before.

“Sorry for existing,” smiled Karma.

“You should be.”

Karma now slowly approached the desk, looking straight at Asano: “But I know that isn’t the whole thing.”

Asano, who had peaked up before, now averted his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he blatantly lied.

“Look, I fucked up too, alright?” Karma admitted. At that confesion, Asano looked up, surprise written all over his face.

Karma lightly chuckled: “You won’t hear me say that often, so enjoy it while it lasts. But. I shouldn’t have brought up abuse, especially not right after _that._ I’m sorry.”

Truth be told, he had known he had fucked up the moment the words ‘abusive boyfriend’ left his mouth. He knew how awful Asano’s childhood had been, how big of a jerk his dad still was and what kind of demons Asano had to fight everyday. Sadly, they were very similar in that regard.

Yet, Karma had to go and stab right where it hurt, because that’s what he did best. If you didn’t want other people to hurt you, you hurt them first so that they stayed away.

“And… I just want to say that you’re not him. Yes, you share some aspects, but that’s to be expected. But your outlook on life is different, your approach to people is different, and that’s all that really matters now.”

Karma wasn’t good with people. He had been alone most of his time, the only true friend being Nagisa, and even he was now… Somewhere else.

He could only hope he was saying the right things.

“I know that you think you hold some great power over me and that you have also just realised you have been-”

“Exploiting you,” interrupted him Asano. “I have been exploiting you. I can see that now. Because to say that you had a choice? That’s a lie. You were caught between a rock and a hard place. That’s no choice at all. And the past month, I have only been taking out my anger on you, despite the fact that the source of that anger were my own decisions. That’s… That’s no better than what my father did to me.”

“Dumbass!” snapped Karma. “Your _father_ did something completely different! And you’re forgetting who you’re talking about. You really think I would submit to you so easily? No matter what you say, Asano, I’m here because I want to be. And I’m not leaving just because- just because you’re scared. I’m staying right here and proving to you that you’re different, Asano.”

“Gakushuu,” Asano said out of nowhere.

“What?” Karma was stumped.

“Call me Gakushuu. After everything we’ve been through, I… You deserve it.”

Wait, what? Did Asano really just… _Holy shit._

“Then call me Karma,” Karma said. “And I would say that this calls for a drink, but…” and he winked at Asano.

Asa- no, Gakushuu - threw a pencil at him.

Karma smiled.

* * *

Despite the fact that Karma had long ago given up his dreams of going to college and becoming a bureaucrat, the books Asano had oh so graciously bestowed upon him proved to be most interesting. The matters of the law were complex and plentiful, and he enjoyed searching for all loopholes and contradictions in them. So far he had discovered three different ways of murdering someone and getting away with it despite everybody knowing he had done the deed. He had, all too delighted, shared his findings with Gakushuu, who, as expected, forbid him from carrying his throwing knives around for a week.

Not that Karma listened, because he could also kill someone with his bare hands in twenty different ways, so he didn’t really see the point. The knives were the cleaner alternative anyhow, and they had proven their usefulness in that scuffle two weeks back.

Since then Gakushuu’s and his relationship tentatively improved. They talked more, with Karma now having greater access to Gakushuu’s classwork. He even did Gakushuu’s homework sometimes. Not that Gakushuu wanted him to do that. And that was what made it fun.

Yet, the best thing about this was the fact that Karma now had access to Gakushuu’s grades and exams.

“Is that an A- that I see? And in _math?_ Tch, Gakushuu, things aren’t looking too good for you,” Karma said, lying on top of the work desk/kitchen table/emergency bed.

He had the last of Gakushuu’s exams in his hand, studying the neat handwriting. Gakushuu, who had just stepped into the apartment, loudly sighed.

“That was three days after your damn ass got stabbed, so it’s basically your fault,” he told Karma.

“Isn’t everything?” Karma wondered. “But this doesn’t look that hard. Come here, I can explain it to you. I think. I’m pretty sure I can.”

“While I would love nothing more than get bombarded by all the insults you have in store for me, I’m busy right now.”

“With what,” Karma said, rolling to the side.

“With me!” said an unknown voice from behind Gakushuu, in strongly accented Japanese. “Hello!”

A girl their age now entered the apartment, her shiny black hair in a neat bun on top of her head. Her skin was a light shade of brown, which only made her bright green eyes stand out more. She had a big smile on her face, her hands clasped together in excitement.

“Karma, This is Leonie,” Gakushuu said, introducing them. “Leonie, this is Karma.”

“Hello,” slowly said Karma. What… What was this?

“Leonie is from France and has generously offered to help me improve my French - in exchange for me helping her with Japanese. She’s a real polyglot,” Gakushuu explained, pointedly looking at Karma.

Karma pretended to get the hint. “Nice to meet you,” he said. This was…

“Nice to meet you too! I speak French, English, Spanish, Italian, Russian and am currently learning Japanese and Hindi. I heard you were also fluent in English? Nice! Two people I can speak in Japanese to. That’s sweet! ”

What was her deal? Also, why was he feeling so uneasy suddenly? Could it be?

He almost smacked himself. What Gakushuu did or didn’t do was none of business.

“Do you two require… space?” he asked, jumping off the desk. Gakushuu immediately understood him, and shook his head.

But Leonie was excitedly jumping next to him: “Yes please! If you don’t mind, of course. I know that Gakushuu doesn’t like big crowds of people and stuff.”

How exactly was a trio a big crowd escaped Karma, but he graciously bowed to her, gave Gakushuu a sleazy wink and grabbed some of his books.

Leonie smiled at him and Gakushuu gave him the finger - which, rude.

And then he was out of the doors, his jacket barely slipped on and without any idea of what he was going to do.

* * *

“Where did you go?” asked him Gakushuu the next morning, over healthy breakfast on his side and sugary cereal for Karma. “You came in pretty late.”

“Well, had to be sure I wouldn’t interrupt anything,” Karma cheekily smiled. He had been in the library before wandering through the parks, but he wasn’t about to tell Gakushuu that. “Also, I was casing neighbourly gangs. I think I should join one.”

“No and no!” Gakushuu slammed down the protein shake he was drinking, almost spilling it a little. “No gangs! Don’t even joke about that.”

“But I’m not! Joking, that is. That would certainly get me enough money really fast,” Karma said, seriously contemplating the thought for a moment.

“No gangs, and that’s final! Let’s… Let’s just stay on the right side of the law while we are here,” Gakushuu squeezed out.

“‘While we’re here’, huh,” said Karma. “Hm. Does this mean you’re planning on immediately breaking the law once you get back?”

“If,” quietly murmured Gakushuu. It wasn’t meant to be heard, that much was clear.

But Karma wouldn’t be Karma if he didn’t press. “Oh?” he asked. “And since when have you been thinking of defying your dear dad?”

“Don’t!” Gakushuu hissed. “Don’t mention him. Besides, this doesn’t necessarily involve him. I just think there might be more business opportunities here.”

“Sure. Whatever you say.”

“You’re awful,” Gakushuu said and shook his head.

Karma smirked and picked up the empty bowl, ready to dump it into the sink and run. His shift didn’t start for another hour, but he didn’t want to get stuck washing the dishes.

Of course Gakushuu noticed exactly what Karma was doing and stretched his leg out at exactly the right time to make Karma trip and possibly break his neck.

Karma simply sidestepped it, giving Gakushuu a big smile before leaving the kitchen.

“Wait!” Gakushuu called after him, just as Karma reached the wardrobe with his clothes.

“Yeah?” he asked, checking over his options. Damn, he had forgot to wash his jeans.

“Yesterday… Your assumption was completely wrong, you know.”

“What assumption?” And since when did his favourite shirt spot that hole?

“Don’t play dumb, Karma, it doesn’t suit you.”

“Whatever you say, Shuu,” Karma smirked.

“We aren’t on a nickname basis!”

Karma could hear him approaching, even if he was trying to be as silent as he could be.

“Whatever you say,” he repeated, turning around to intercept Gakushuu’s kick.

“Idiot,” Gakushuu added, tearing his leg from Karma’s grip. “But just for the record: I was talking about Leonie and I.”

“Oh, so there _is_ a Leonie and you?” Karma asked. He was ashamed to admit that he wanted nothing more than to hear a resolute ‘No!’ from Gakushuu.

“Karma!” sighed Gakushuu. “Honestly. We were studying and that’s not an euphemism. I still spend most of my free time studying. It’s not my problem whether you believe me or not.”

“You haven’t brought over anyone before,” Karma said, now inspecting his ties. There weren’t many. “What, do you always go to their place?”

He needed a tie.

“Leave it be!” Asano snapped. “I’m not dating any girls!”

“Really? But you and Leonie look so cute together!” Why was he saying this? “Besides, I think it would do you good if you got laid.”

Gakushuu was wearing a tie, Karma suddenly noticed. Surely he wouldn’t miss it?

“Don’t involve yourself in my love life,” Gakushuu growled.

“Oh? So there _is_ something going on. And I hadn’t lied, Leonie seems really nice and-”

He couldn’t finish the sentence

“I’m gay!” suddenly yelled Gakushuu and immediately looking stricken, completely shocked by his own admission.

Karma, who had stretched his arms out to snag Gakushuu’s tie, slowly leaned backwards.

What.

Did… Did Gakushuu really just say that? Did he really mean it? Of course he did, he wouldn’t lie. Not about something like this.

Gakushuu, who had probably taken Karma’s surprised silence completely the wrong way, paled even more. He jumped away from Karma, his hands flying up to cover his mouth.

“No…” he whispered, aghast.

Well, wasn’t this a wonderful situation.

Karma tried to resolve it in his usual way; with an inappropriately timed joke.

“Well… You can never tell me that I should straighten myself out ever again.”

Gakushuu stared at him

“What?” Karma asked. “It’s not like… You know that it doesn’t repulse me or anything? You’re gay, that’s fine!”

“How… How can you just accept it like that?” whispered Gakushuu. “This isn’t alright. I know that it’s disgusting and-”

“It’s not!” Karma interjected, anger fueling him. “It’s not wrong! It’s just the way you are. You are _never_ wrong about things like this, and you aren’t, you aren’t _disgusting_ or anything. It’s alright, believe me.”

Gakushuu didn’t look convinced. Oh, that motherfucking dad of his. What wouldn’t Karma give to get an opportunity to strangle the guy.

He chose to take a gamble: “Because,” he slowly said, “if you are, so am I.”

Now Gakushuu was all surprised: “What?”

“I’m bi. That’s bisexual, by the way,” Karma told him. “So… The same boat as you. Well, almost the same. Similar. Mine has steering.”

Gakushuu rolled his eyes: “I know what that means. Still, why…? How can you admit that so carelessly?”

“Would it be too much to say that I trust you with this? And… I’m comfortable with who I am,” Karma said. “Well, at least in regards to that particular thing. My parents were never home, so they had neither the time nor opportunity to tell me it’s wrong. Because it’s not. You gotta believe that, Shuu.”

Hopefully, the awful nickname would-

“What did I say about calling me that?” Gakushuu growled.

Yep, there it was.

It looked like Gakushuu had ignored Karma’s last statement, but Karma really hoped he hadn’t. It would do him good to listen to Karma once in a while, and he wasn’t saying that just because he was so smart and got everything right all the time.

He smirked, stuck his hands into his pockets and innocently asked: “To do it more often?”

“Idiot,” murmured Gakushuu, but it wasn’t said with the usual malice. He was probably glad the discussion was over.

And was that a small smile Karma could see on his face? That… That was definitely a nice look on him. Karma wished he could see Gakushuu like that more often.

_Oh shit._

This…

This wasn’t good.

He was getting _attached._

* * *

Three days after the last confrontation and revelation of several interesting things, Karma was continuing to be miserable.

He fancied the guy. He! Fancied! _Gakushuu!_

Although _fancied_ was too fancy of a word, too elegant and innocent.

He wanted Gakushuu to fuck his brains out.

There were several reasons why this was a horrendously bad idea - levels of ‘jumping off a cliff’ bad idea.

Karma was full of those.

So he tried to ignore it, bury it somewhere it would never see the light of day again, and hope he didn’t leer at Gakushuu too much.

His moping was however interrupted by a bigger problem that arrived on a gloomy November Monday.

A letter. A letter, addressed to Karma. A _formal_ letter, addressed to Karma. A formal letter, addressed to Karma, _from Japan._

Well.

This was a (not) very nice surprise.

He recognized the packaging. It was from Japan’s judicial system - its courts.

This was not good.

He debated for a second whether he should even open it, or preemptively burn it and pretend it never arrived. Although Gakushuu would probably threaten to kill him again if Karma set off the fire alarm, again.

To be fair, he hadn’t meant to do it the first time. And the next four.

Alright, he could see Gakushuu’s point.

Nah, he wasn’t going to listen to that idiot.

He probably still had a lighter stuck somewhere.

He glanced at the letter again. Maybe he should open it, after all.

* * *

He had no idea how long he had been sitting there before Gakushuu came back and brought him out of the stupor he had fallen into.

The opened letter was clutched hard in his hand, all wrinkled from where he had read it over and over again, to ascertain there were no mistakes and he hadn’t finally gone mad, to convince himself that what he thought was written in it was actually written in it and not a figment of his imagination.

“Oh, so you finally got it?” casually said Gakushuu, stepping over Karma’s fallen figure and going straight to the kitchen desk, like this was something he encountered every other day.

He managed to get his laptop up and running before Karma realised the importance of his words.

“You… knew?” he asked with a shaking voice.

Gakushuu only stared at him in silence.

Karma shook his head, then hit it repeatedly with his fist, the one that wasn’t firmly gripping the letter: “But of course! Who else knew but you? Who else had the capability? Because they certainly didn’t do it themselves, nooo, that would have been too hard.”

He jumped onto his feet. “Gakushuu!” he roared, stomping forward. He thrust the wrinkled paper into Gakushuu’s face, too close for Gakushuu to actually see anything.

“What did you do?!” he yelled.

Gakushuu, still extremely calm, merely raised an eyebrow, a picture of disinterest: “What do you think?”

“You… filled an appeal. For me. You fought, and you won… My debt has been canceled! I don’t own my father money anymore. I’m, I’m…” he was yelling, shaking, and his face was suspiciously wet, but he didn’t care.

“I’m free,” he ultimately whispered. “I’m finally free.”

“It seems so,” Gakushuu said, his face blank. Then he turned away from Karma.

“Aren’t you going to start packing now?” he asked, and that finally snapped Karma out of the stupor he had gone into.

“Huh?” Karma couldn’t comprehend Gakushuu’s words.

Wait… What?

“Your father will give you back the money you have previously ‘returned’ to him, and the University has already been notified, so they are eagerly awaiting your return. You should fly back to Japan as soon as possible.”

Why was it getting hard to breathe? Was his vision always this blurry, or...?

Gakushuu’s voice seemed so far away suddenly, Karma’s ears filled with white noise.

He was a fool. An idiot, a failure… Everything they have said about him was true. How could he be so stupid? Again? He _knew_ how things ended, and yet. And yet he had dared to hope and dream, wished for something better knowing fully well he deserved _nothing_ of the sort.

He _knew_ that he was the problem, and yet he still tried to push that title onto others. With Gakushuu - no, he had no right to call him that apparently - with Asano, he had thought (like a moron) something would change, that he would finally receive confirmation he had fervently wished for - that it wasn’t him that was so broken, so defective.

And yet.

It was just like every other time with his parents. You try, you see it doesn’t work, and you solve the problem with money.

The problem, of course, always being Karma.

It seemed like Gakushuu had finally had enough of him. Damn, it shouldn’t bother him so much! He knew Gakushuu could hardly stand him, he _knew_ Gakushuu despised and - even worse - _pitied_ him, so how on Earth had he not seen this coming?

The threat that he had been calling a joke all this time was finally realised, and it was not funny at all _._

He could feel himself shaking. He couldn’t breathe.

Why wasn’t he happy? He got his life back. No need to work himself half to death for his father. He could go back to studying.

What was _wrong_ with him?! Had he really grown so attached to Asano in just these past four months? Why was the thought of being forced to leave _this_ so terrifying?

A sharp and sudden pain in his cheek brought him back into the small apartment.

He slowly reached towards his face, rubbing the stinging part. Asano was standing in front of him, looking down at him with barely concealed apprehension.

Wait a sec, down?

Karma hadn’t even realised he had slid back onto the floor again, gripping his knees with one hand and covering his mouth with the other.

He picked himself up, this time taking a step away from Asano.

“You didn’t have to hit me,” Karma told him.

Asano shrugged: “You were all hysterical, what else was I supposed to do? Now get packing. The sooner you leave, the better.”

Karma swallowed around the big lump in his throat. “Alright then.”

He grabbed his jacket and stuffed his phone into his pocket, turning towards the doors.

“I didn’t mean right now!” yelled Asano and grabbed his arm. “You don’t have a plane ticket yet or anything else! Pack your stuff! This isn’t a storage unit for your shit, you know!”

Karma ripped his arm out of Asano’s grip. “Shut up,” he growled. “Like you care.”

There was a strange glint in Asano’s eyes, but Karma ignored it.

He let the doors slam shut behind him.

* * *

Benches were a completely appropriate spot to have a breakdown on, figured Karma.

Especially late at night, in dark, unlit parks, with no one else in sight.

Was he really going back to Japan, just like that? It seemed so.

But he was in no state to think about the future. The future, that once seemed so far away and so hopeless. Not that it was less hopeless now, no. Even trying to discern what he was going to do tomorrow was... No, not right now.

He was content to simply soak in the cold rain, watching it gather in the pond in front of him. Trying not to think about anything was hard to do on purpose, but sometimes one’s thoughts just wandered away - even when they really shouldn’t.

He was so out of it he almost didn’t notice a warm presence approaching, the smell of cigarette smoke strong in the air.

“And what are _you_ doing here?” asked him Leonie, in Japanese, because of course she did. She had a bright, neon yellow  umbrella opened over her head, trying not to let the rain ruin her amazing haircut.

He didn’t answer her. His face was wet, but it was all due to the rain.

“Is everything alright?” she tried again.

No answer, again.

 _“What, you had a fight with your boyfriend or something? Jeez, such a kid,”_ she complained, but now in French.

He was just annoyed enough to answer: _“He’s not my boyfriend. Go away.”_

Her mouth opened in a surprised gasp, her eyes lighting up in delight: _“Huh? You speak French? That bastard never told me that! So, what are you doing here? Fighting with your-”_

 _“It doesn’t matter,”_ he interrupted her. _“Why do you even think that?”_

 _“Two people, living together in an apartment with only one bed, together in a foreign country even though one does not have to be… What, are you now going to say that you are really just very good friends?”_ she said, letting out a bitter laugh. _“‘Very good friends’ my ass. I can’t stand people like that.”_

Well, it seemed like someone else had thought this was a good breakdown spot as well. What a coincidence.

 _“But I do not want to talk about that,”_ she said. _“Now tell me. What’s going on with you and Gakushuu?”_

 _“Nothing,”_ said Karma. _“Absolutely nothing. I’m leaving the country soon.”_

 _“Ah,”_ Leonie nodded. _“So it’s that bad?”_

 _“It’s fucked up, that’s what it is,”_ Karma said, now switching to English. He was sick of talking in French. It reminded him too much of Gaku- Asano. _“Also none of your fucking business.”_

 _“Mhm,”_ Leonie nodded yet again. Then she lifted her purse and searched through it, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

She extended her hand towards him: _“You want one?”_

He shook his head.

She raised an eyebrow.

He sighed and reached for the pack.

She smiled. “ _Now,”_ she said, clasping her hands all too excitedly, _“let’s talk.”_

Karma’s weak ‘I don’t want to’ went by unheard. He reached for the lighter.

* * *

There was dread. He was pretty familiar with it by now. Too familiar for his liking, definitely.

He remembered being afraid of _not_ being afraid, but that did not mean he relished living in fear. No, quite the opposite - it had been pure hell, all those past years. And now it was back, apparently.

This one, this particular fear, was an old wound that kept being opened again and again, stabbed continuously by the long line of people he was too stupid to push away and actually gave them access to his heart.

One would think he would’ve learned after the third time.

But Karma was a fool. A fool that kept repeating the same mistakes over and over again. He knew it was his fault. He hated himself for it.

He knocked on the door.

There was no response for a moment. The railing behind him suddenly looked extremely inviting, but before he could parkour out of the catastrophe that he had just set in motion and was now sure to happen, a loud bang came from the inside of the apartment.

Karma froze. Another sound, a crash, a milder one this time, and then something big _(a body?)_ hit the door.

It was pulled open a second later and Karma was staring into the face of a very… _messed up_ looking Asano.

Asano’s hair was a mess and his clothes were all rumpled. His face was red and he was clutching his phone like it was the most important thing on the planet.

His eyes widened in surprise and confusion when he saw who it was that interrupted his whatever he had just been doing.

He slowly raised the phone to his ear. _“I… Nevermind, it’s… it’s okay,”_ he stammered out before hanging up.

Karma would’ve snickered if it weren’t for the seriousness of the situation. Asano, stammering? One saw something new everyday.

He didn’t greet Asano. Why would he.

“Well,” he started. “Aren’t you going to let me in?”

Asano stared at him some more before finally snapping out of it: “Oh. Fuck. You’re - Here. Why?” He violently shook his head and turned away from Karma, back towards the kitchen. “Sure,” he said. “Do come in.”

Karma slowly followed him.

That had been the easy part, getting Asano to talk to him and let him in. Now came the hard part. Actually talking about serious stuff.

But first came something else.

“What the fuck,” Karma loudly said, pointing at the overturned kitchen desk. “How did you even do that?”

Asano looked at his laptop, laying next to the downed desk. “Yes, that,” he slowly said. “It happens.”

“Mhm,” nodded Karma, “it just sorta happens.” He decided to ignore it for now. There was something else, something a lot more important.

“So,” Karma begun, quickly noticing that Asano noted the change in the attitude and tone, as he stopped evading Karma’s gaze but rather stared right back, “I was almost sure you would already have my bags packed and thrown out, or at least in a giant garbage bag somewhere. What’s up with that?”

“I was leaving that to you,” Asano stiffly said. “I was not going to bother with cleaning up after you.”

“Really,” Karma said. He knew his voice portrayed his disbelief strongly enough that not even Asano could have missed it, yet still Asano simply said: “Yes.”

Karma sighed. “Alright then,” he said. “Then at least allow me one last question.”

“Like anything I say could get you to leave when you don’t want to,” grumbled Asano.

Karma ignored the comment.

“Why did you fight for me, in the court?”

The sudden question didn’t seem to faze Asano at all.

“For you? You idiot,” he said, rolling his eyes, “you really think that was for you? I have simply had enough! Enough of you forcing yourself into my personal space, enough of seeing your stupid face, enough of listening to your inane chatter… You are a nuisance, a bother on the best of days - and there aren’t many of those. I simply couldn’t stand seeing such a worthless piece of shit every day. Throwing you out would probably come off as problematic. So this was the best, the obvious choice. Why are you not _happy?_ You at least get something out of this!”

Karma swallowed, ignoring the tight feeling in his chest. “Lies,” he said, sounding a lot more confident than he actually felt.

“What?”

“Lies,” Karma repeated, now with real strength. Yes, he was right. He had to be.

“Tell me the truth,” he demanded.

Asano looked away. “I already have,” he said.

“Bullshit.”

“What do you want from me?!” snapped Asano. “I do not know what you consider the truth, I can only tell you what my subjective truth is!”

“And yet, you still lie, even about that,” Karma said.

Asano hit the wall with his hand: “Enough! You have no idea what you are talking about!”

“I think I do. And even… Even if I don’t, I still deserve an explanation for your actions.”

“I have already given it to you,” Asano insisted. “It is your problem if you are not satisfied with it.”

But Karma didn’t relent: “I deserve the truth.”

Asano covered his eyes with his hand, breathing deeply. “You…” He pulled it downwards, giving Karma a look, full of anger and… Despair? Was it possible?

“You have no idea what you’re asking for!”

Karma bit his lip. Was this it?

“I know what I want. I know what this is about.”

That only served to make Asano even more angry - if that was even possible. He marched forward until he was mere centimeters away from Karma, his hands balled into fists.

“It’s all your fault, you fucker,” he hissed. “I never thought this would happen but I should’ve known better! Do you know how hard it is, restraining myself and questioning every decision I make regarding my behaviour? Just how much energy does it take to stop myself from doing something I will forever regret?!”

“Really,” Karma said, making sure that his disbelief was very clear. “I’m pretty sure you could get away with murder.”

“This isn’t what this is about!” Asano spat out, leaning even closer.

But of course Karma wasn’t going to lose this staring contest.

“Then enlighten me,” he snarled back.

Asano looked like he had stopped breathing for a moment before suddenly grabbing the front of Karma’s suit and pulling him forward.

Karma had a brief second to feel threatened before Asano’s lips were on his and his brain promptly short-circuited.

Was this a dream?

Before Karma could really respond in any proper way, Asano broke off the kiss, taking a step away from him.

“You see?” he chuckled, but there was no humour in his tone, only bitterness. “Forcing myself on you… Not even a monster such as myself would ever do that. I’m sorry, I thought I could handle it… But it turns out it’s impossible to restrain myself when it comes to you.”

This was no dream, figured Karma. If it was, there would definitely be more groping and less clothes, and definitely no _emotional conversation._ “You fucker,” he told Asano, but with enough warmth for it to not be a huge insult. “This happens ‘cuz you never fucking talk to me-”

“Oh, and you do?”

 _“-irrelevant_ \- because if you did, then you would know that I’m dealing with exact same shit!”

Karma figured he probably shouldn’t have yelled at Asano when the guy was so emotionally compromised, but whatever. Like they were always so successful at peaceful resolutions.

“What?” Asano whispered. “Are… Is that a _joke?”_

“I wouldn’t joke about something like this, Asano - alright, yeah I totally would. But I’m not, not this time! I don’t know how, I don’t know why and I don’t know since _when,_ but apparently I _like you.”_

He couldn’t look Asano in the eyes, despite the fact that he know knew his feelings were returned. Well, probably? Maybe Asano just wanted to sleep with him to see if-

“Gakushuu,” whispered Asano. “If… If that’s true, then it’s definitely Gakushuu.”

“Back to first names, huh?” Karma mused.

Holy shit, was Gakushuu blushing? “Well, I can hardly call my boyfriend by his last name, right?”

Oh, so things _were_ that serious. Karma, usually the picture of stoicism and coolness, blushed as well. “R-right,” he stammered out. Then he remembered what the whole argument had started out as.

“I can stay here, right? You… you know now it’s because I want it so, right?” he asked. “We should be very clear now.”

“Like anything is clear with you,” grumbled Gakushuu, “but alright. Of course this is still your home. If you have ever called it that, anyways.”

Home? It had been a while since Karma had last called something ‘home’. Truth be told, this small apartment that he was sharing with Gakushuu was the closest thing to a home.

“I would like it to be,” he admitted. He felt like Gakushuu deserved some of his truths after all that had been said.

He was rewarded by a small smile that was probably the most wonderful thing he had seen in a week.

* * *

 

 

**Epilogue**

“If I remember correctly, you have two essays to finish ‘till Monday, right?”

“Don’t say that,” pleaded Karma. He was lying face-planted on the kitchen table, trying to ignore his diligent boyfriend that diligently did his homework right next to him.

“So, how many have you finished? Or better yet, how many have you started?” Gakushuu, the nosiest and most annoying person on the planet asked him.

Karma was too lazy to do anything but make a circle with his fingers and shove it under Gakushuu’s nose.

Gakushuu was of course outraged. “Karma!” he yelled. “What do you think you’re doing? Today’s Friday and you _know_ we won’t get anything done, tomorrow is Saturday, when we always, always with absolutely _no exceptions_ clean the apartment, and you never do anything on Sundays anyhow. So when were you planning on writing them?”

“I wasn’t,” grumbled Karma, and turned towards Gakushuu with the best puppy-dog eyes he could master.

Gakushuu wasn’t swayed. “No, I’m not writing them for you.”

“You’re the worst boyfriend ever,” whined Karma. “You never do _anything_ for me.”

“If you’re going to be so ungrateful I will simply return the handcuffs and you can forget all about tonight.”

Leonie, to her and everybody else’s horror, chose precisely that moment to walk in unannounced: _“Wow, I did_ not _need to know that! What’s up, guys? Still haven’t burned anything down?”_

Karma was unfazed while Gakushuu dropped his head into his hands in despair.

 _“Wow, what did he say?”_ Trevor wanted to know.

Karma opened his mouth to tell him, but Gakushuu immediately stopped despairing and slammed his hands over Karma’s face to keep him quiet. Karma licked Gakushuu’s palms to get him to release the grip, but Gakushuu persisted.

Layla, who was the last to enter, standing next to Simon, rolled her eyes. _“Seriously, guys? Can you two stop being kinky motherfuckers for a minute?”_

 _“I’m sorry,”_ apologised Gakushuu and finally removed his hands.

 _“As soon as I become a prosecutor, it’s jail time for your ass,”_ Karma threatened.

 _“Such a lovey-dovey couple,”_ sighed Leonie.

 _“Are we leaving anytime today?”_ now asked Layla, all exasperated. _"Or do we have to suffer through a make out session?"_

 _“You’re just bitter because that hot guy keeps ignoring you,”_ said Trevor.

Layla immediately focused on him: _“You said you weren’t going to tell anyone!”_

 _“I lied,”_ he shrugged, completely unapologetic.

Karma could probably watch their little spat for a while, but Gakushuu was apparently already bored with it. He grabbed the keys that were resting on the table and closed his laptop. Then he threw a jacket to Karma and picked up his phone, swearing when he noticed it was almost empty because Karma had unplugged the charger hours ago.

But he didn’t yell at Karma, which, progress! Karma now stood up as well, quickly pulling on the jacket and giving Gakushuu a small peck on the lips.

The rest of the group had already moved out, so they simply followed them, locking the apartment - _their home,_ and wasn’t that a wonderful thing to say - behind them.

 _“Say, Karma,”_ said Trevor suddenly, completely out of the blue. _“Just why do you want to become a prosecutor for anyway? I’m not saying that you won’t be a good one, but we have all seen that you’re truly amazing when it comes to math.”_

 _“I’m good with logic,”_ Karma said. _“I think that will greatly help me. Besides, who says there is no mathematics in prosecuting? Still… The truth is that I feel like I can truly help people as a prosecutor.”_

Gakushuu, who knew perfectly well the exact reason that was pushing Karma towards his goal, reassuringly squeezed his hand.

 _“That’s a very noble goal,”_ praised him Trevor.

 _“Do you think it will make you happy?”_ asked Leonie.

 _“Leonie, wow, making it deep,”_ Trevor chuckled.

Karma shrugged: _“I hope so, but doesn’t everyone? Besides, a job isn’t everything.”_

 _“True,”_ agreed Simon.

 _“But… Are you happy_ now?”

The sun was shining brightly, he could hear birds chirping around them, and his boyfriend’s hand was warm where it rested in his.

 _“Yes,”_ Karma decided.

This truly was happiness.


End file.
